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Best Teacher Jokes to Start the Year

Outside the Box Teaching Ideas

A new school year can be a bit stressful with all the preparations. All teachers need to find a way to de-stress and or relax as the year starts. A good laugh is always the best relief. Here are some new teacher jokes to lighten your day.

“A teacher's job is to take a bunch of live wires and see that they are all well-grounded.”

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son.
"Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!"
"But why, Mom? I don't want to go."
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go.”
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!"
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."
"Give me two reasons why I should go to school."
"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the Principal!"

Mother: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
Joe: Because of absence.
Mother: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?
Joe: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.

Teacher: Can anyone give me a sentence with a direct object?
Student: You are pretty.
Teacher: What’s the direct object?
Student: A good report card.

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A student called into school as his father in the hopes of getting out of school that day.
“My son had the flu and can’t make it to school today,” he said.
“Who is this speaking?” said the secretary.
"This is my father!”

The first of September, first lesson.
Teacher: “Please sit quietly, if you want to ask something - raise your hand.”
Peter immediately raises his hand.
“You want to ask something?”
“No. Just checking how the system works.”

Improve your Back to School ideas with’s Ultimate 5-Week Prep Guide! Each week, you’ll get tipstricks, and ideas that will enhance your classroom!