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Top 20 Teacher Jokes

TeachHUB Blog

 

Teacher JokesFor a quick giggle, we've compiled and concocted 20 side-splitting (and maybe a little corny) teacher jokes to laugh our way through next week.

* What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws. The other is a pause at the end of a clause.

*Why do geographers find mountains so funny?
Because they’re hill areas.

*What pencil did Shakespeare write with?
2B.

*Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
At the bottom.

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*Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th.

*What did they do at the Boston Tea Party?
I don’t know, I wasn’t invited! 

* What is a math teacher’s favorite sum?
Summer!

* Why does the principal keep talking to me about having more “arty eye” (RTI)? I teach reading, not art.

*Does it count as differentiated instruction if I print their worksheets in different colors?

*Teacher: ‘Craig, you know you can't sleep in my class.'
Craig: 'I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could.'

* Teachers who take class attendance are absent-minded.

*What do you call a teacher without students?
Happy

*Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of
Pupil: Life imprisonment!

*Pupil: I don't think I deserved zero on this test!
Teacher: I agree, but that's the lowest mark I could give you!

*Teachers deserve a lot of credit. Of course, if we paid them more, they wouldn’t need it.

*Where do door-makers get their education?
The school of hard knocks

*What do you call a teacher without students?
Broke … oh wait, that’s a regular teacher

*Teacher: Why have you got cotton in your ears, do you have an infection?
Pupil: Well, you keep saying that things go in one ear and out the other, so I am trying to keep them it all in!

*Kid comes home from first day at school. Mom asks, “What did you learn today?” Kid replies, “Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.”

*Pupil: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not
Pupil: Good, because I didn't do my homework

* There is one person in our district who is all about “No Child Left Behind”
Who’s that?
The bus driver

*What kinds of tests do they give witches?
Hex-aminations

*Teacher: You copied from Fred's exam paper, didn't you?
Pupil: How did you know?
Teacher: Fred's paper says "I don't know" and you put, "Me neither"!