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Top 20 Teacher Jokes

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Teacher Jokes

Teacher JokesFor a quick giggle, we've compiled and concocted 20 side-splitting (and maybe a little corny) teacher jokes to laugh our way through next week.

* What is a math teacher’s favorite sum?
Summer!

* Why does the principal keep talking to me about having more “arty eye”? I teach reading, not art.

* Teachers who take class attendance are absent-minded.

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*Teacher: ‘Craig, you know you can't sleep in my class.'
Craig: 'I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could.'

*Stressing the importance of a good vocabulary, the teacher told her young charges, "Use a word ten times, and it shall be yours for life."

From somewhere in the back of the room, came a small male voice chanting, "Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda."

*Does it count as differentiated instruction if I print their worksheets in different colors?

*Pupil: I don't think I deserved zero on this test!
Teacher: I agree, but that's the lowest mark I could give you!

*What do you call a teacher without students?
Happy

*Teachers deserve a lot of credit. Of course, if we paid them more, they wouldn’t need it.

*Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of
Pupil: Life imprisonment!

*Where do door-makers get their education?
The school of hard knocks

*What do you call a teacher without students?
Broke…oh wait, that’s a regular teacher

*Teacher: Why have you got cotton wool in your ears, do you have an infection?
Pupil: Well you keep saying that things go in one ear and out the other so I am trying to keep them it all in!

*
Kid comes home from 1st day at school. Mum asks, 'What did you learn today?' Kid replies, 'Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.'

*
Pupil: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not
Pupil: Good, because I didn't do my homework

More Teacher Jokes

* ~ There is one person in our district who is all about “No Child Left Behind”
~ Who’s that?
~ The bus driver

*What kinds of tests do they give witches?
Hex-aminations

*Teacher: You copied from Fred's exam paper didn't you ?
Pupil: How did you know ?
Teacher: Fred's paper says "I don't know" and you have put "Me, neither"!

*The little boy wasn't getting good marks in school. One day he made the teacher quite surprised. He tapped her on the shoulder and said ..."I don't want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don't get better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking."

Want more teacher jokes? Check out our Top 12 Hilarious Teacher Jokes!

15 Things You’ll Never Hear a Teacher Say

Share you favorite teacher jokes and education-related humor in the comments section!