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Top 20 Teacher Jokes

TeachHUB Blog

microphone in front of a brick wall

For a quick giggle, we've compiled and concocted 20 side-splitting (and maybe a little corny) teacher jokes to laugh our way through next week.

1. What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws. The other is a pause at the end of a clause.

2. Why do geographers find mountains so funny?
Because they’re hill areas.

3. What pencil did Shakespeare write with?
2B.

4. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
At the bottom.

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5. Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th.

6. What did they do at the Boston Tea Party?
I don’t know, I wasn’t invited! 

7. What is a math teacher’s favorite sum?
Summer!

8. Why does the principal keep talking to me about having more “arty eye” (RTI)? I teach reading, not art.

9. Teacher: Craig, you know you can't sleep in my class.
Craig: I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could.

10. Teachers who take class attendance are absent-minded.

11. Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of.
Pupil: Life imprisonment!

12. Pupil: I don't think I deserved zero on this test!
Teacher: I agree, but that's the lowest mark I could give you!

13. Teachers deserve a lot of credit. Of course, if we paid them more, they wouldn’t need it.

14. Where do door-makers get their education?
The school of hard knocks.

15. Teacher: Why have you got cotton in your ears? Do you have an infection?
Pupil: Well, you keep saying that things go in one ear and out the other, so I am trying to keep them it all in!

16. Kid comes home from first day at school. Mom asks, “What did you learn today?” Kid replies, “Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.”

17. Pupil: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Pupil: Good, because I didn't do my homework.

18. There is one person in our district who is all about “No Child Left Behind.”
Who’s that?
The bus driver.

19. What kinds of tests do they give witches?
Hex-aminations.

20. Teacher: You copied from Fred's exam paper, didn't you?
Pupil: How did you know?
Teacher: Fred's paper says "I don't know" and you put, "Me neither!”

Nov.8.2019